The Reason I have Issues (Part II)
I really lack a certain trust in adult figures. I have always hated it when my friends or people in general who complained about their parental units like I could do something to solve their problems. I don't know how to fix the fact that you messed up your test and now you are grounded, sorry. Just because I'm a foster kid doesn't mean that I can just beam into your house and light saber your parents - Boom, problem solved. No, that is not me. Don't get me wrong, I have had my share of parents and their teaching ways. I lived with my mother for basically my whole life, until I was 15 and then placed into foster care where I came to know two different families with two different views on how to parent a child, but the same religious beliefs.
Don't get me wrong, religion is cool and all, it just has never set well with me. Like a bad sea food dinner does on your stomach, and later colon. I'm not trying to say religion makes me sick... but it does. The two foster families I lived in before I moved to Oregon with my grandma were both Baptist families. They both went to Church, and they both welcomed me into the religion with open arms. I was glad, I figured religion was a good escape route, I could focus on it and not on my issues. I soon came to realize, however, that religion in general is very pervasive. It tries its hardest with hymns, verses and sermons to get into a very guarded place, with promises that no matter what He will accept you and love you. I guess you could say that I wasn't, and probably will never be, ready to make that commitment to religion. I like to think of
religion and parenting as a hand in hand combination, some parents, like some religions are pervasive, and are always on a need to know whats going on basis with their child, other religions can be viewed as wishy washy, not necessarily caring, which sounds a little familiar. I guess I had tried to use religion as an excuse at some point, just like how my sophomore year I lied and told everyone I was living a normal teenage life, I wasn't in foster care, oh no. Religion scares me, so does parental figures. So maybe my connection is worthless and maybe I am using that as an excuse as well. I have no idea. I just know that one of the reasons I am absolutely issue inclines is because of my lack of faith.
P.S. This excludes you, obviously, grandma.
Don't get me wrong, religion is cool and all, it just has never set well with me. Like a bad sea food dinner does on your stomach, and later colon. I'm not trying to say religion makes me sick... but it does. The two foster families I lived in before I moved to Oregon with my grandma were both Baptist families. They both went to Church, and they both welcomed me into the religion with open arms. I was glad, I figured religion was a good escape route, I could focus on it and not on my issues. I soon came to realize, however, that religion in general is very pervasive. It tries its hardest with hymns, verses and sermons to get into a very guarded place, with promises that no matter what He will accept you and love you. I guess you could say that I wasn't, and probably will never be, ready to make that commitment to religion. I like to think of
religion and parenting as a hand in hand combination, some parents, like some religions are pervasive, and are always on a need to know whats going on basis with their child, other religions can be viewed as wishy washy, not necessarily caring, which sounds a little familiar. I guess I had tried to use religion as an excuse at some point, just like how my sophomore year I lied and told everyone I was living a normal teenage life, I wasn't in foster care, oh no. Religion scares me, so does parental figures. So maybe my connection is worthless and maybe I am using that as an excuse as well. I have no idea. I just know that one of the reasons I am absolutely issue inclines is because of my lack of faith.
P.S. This excludes you, obviously, grandma.
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